Hi again and Happy Summer to you.

Five years ago I was searching for new opportunities.  I ended up sitting in a Toastmasters group, of all places.

Toastmasters is a world-wide organization that helps members get comfortable speaking in public.  To do this, they offer the chance to give impromptu and prepared speeches in front of people and then receive verbal and written feedback. Scary? Yes! But they have a wonderful way of generating acceptance and confidence to every speaker. Encouragement is almost built into their woodwork, especially for new people.

I went to a chapter in North Dallas that one of my friends told me about. This group was comprised of members who had won many national awards. We met in a private room of a Chinese restaurant and ate our lunches at tables set in a U-pattern.

There was a diverse cross-section of people in this chapter: young & old, professionals & non-.  One member, a man who had a profound speech defect, participated to the fullest. I’ll never forget him.

I watched seasoned and brand new speakers stand up and deliver their speeches, usually seven minutes long with minimal notes. Blinking lights helped them not go over the time limit. It was so impressive.

A person’s first formal speech before the group is called “The Icebreaker”, where you introduce yourself.  I hesitantly scheduled a day for my Icebreaker, wrote my speech, practiced it out loud, timing myself.  What’s the worry, I thought.  I was only talking about myself, a topic I knew very well.  But it would be in front of, you know, people. I could have some notes but not as much as I’d like. They would let me stand behind a podium, since it was my first time up in front. That was good, I could hold onto the podium if I needed to. And hide behind it.

I thought I’d share with you my Icebreaker speech entitled, “What Makes Me Grateful” and next time I’ll share my speech about my brother.

I learned so much in this group of people. How to do something new even when I was quivering inside. And I noticed that receiving encouragement melted away that quivering feeling.

At Toastmaster meetings everyone in the room votes on the best speech of the day. My Icebreaker speech won “Best Speaker” and I was awarded a ribbon. Actually most first-time speakers win Best Speaker, but that ribbon still meant a lot to me. And the verbal and written feedback? It was like fertilizer to a hungry garden.

I was tempted to edit this speech before I showed it to you.  I tried to keep it as I wrote it, only fixing grammar and punctuation.  So here is my “new thing” from 5 years ago…

Icebreaker Speech:

 

Thank you Mr. Toastmaster. (smile, arms down, breathe)

What makes me grateful?  Let me tell you.

I was named Elizabeth, but I was almost named Astrid, a name my Norwegian mother liked.  Oh how glad I am that that didn’t happen.  

However, I did receive a Norwegian middle name, Veum. V-E-U-M. Mom’s maiden name. A significant name if you lived in Norway, but Texas?  Oh how often when I was little I wished I had been given a middle name like Ann or Sue.  But, I survived.

My father was a pediatrician in Irving.  I’ll never forget one day in particular when I was five because he became extremely worried as he looked at my left knee. It was very swollen and warm to the touch.  I had Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. Treatment began right away,  I had to take 10 aspirin a day for the swelling and pain. The arthritis threatened to spread to my other knee. Often when I woke up both knees would be so stiff I couldn’t walk and had to crawl down the hall. And when I did walk, I limped. I couldn’t bend my knees all the way and I couldn’t straighten them all the way.

I don’t remember arthritis hindering me, it was just there, and I was just a kid. I knew there was a fear that it could spread to other joints in my body and I overheard quiet conversations that if that happened I could be wheelchair-bound.  But, here I am today.  As I grew, the disease burned away in my knees and it never spread.  I was able to run and do all the things a young person does, even play on the tennis team in high school.

(Smile.)  What makes me grateful?  That I wasn’t named Astrid.  That I’m arthritis-free…

And that I attended Texas A&M University, where I met 2 people.

One was Martha, my freshman roommate, who loved God with a tender and joyful heart and introduced me to Him, changing my life.

And the other, my future husband Mike.  I didn’t think he’d be my future husband when I first met him. My first impression of him? Too young, a little too nice, not my type.

But as we spent time hanging out with the same group of friends, the God I recently met, whispered something to me about Mike.  Here’s what happened.

One day we were at a home near campus filled with college students, socializing with each other.  Was Mike socializing with his peers? No, he was on the floor with 2 toddlers, playing with them, totally entering their world and they were eating it up. I found myself staring. And I thought, “Wow. Look at him. He’s going to be a really good father!”  

Immediately I sensed God whisper to me, “He will be YOUR children’s father”  “WHAT! (I argued with the voice) No, please no…he wears overalls every day!”

It took 2 years for me to realize that Mike was my type. I’m grateful God knew. 

We have 2 grown children, a daughter and a son, we just celebrated 30 years of marriage, and my mom calls him the Wonderful One.

But life is not always a bed of roses.  Our family weathered challenges, one of which revolved around my older brother who was born with a mental handicap.  I so look forward to telling you more about him in the future.

This past January I examined my life. I had been a stay at home mom, homeschooled my kids, worked for the Container Store, and had been a caregiver to my brother.  But it was time for something else.  

I made a list of new things to do: learn to shoot a gun, take watercolor lessons, join garden clubs, take a master gardener class, look into worm raising, improve my computer skills, paint rooms in the house.  

Toastmasters?  Not on the list!

Then my 27 year old daughter inspired me.  She did something brave.  She traveled to Congo, Africa to help women who had been traumatized by rape as a weapon of war.   

Well, courage begets courage.  And I found myself seeking something that, for me, would be brave. 

A friend and I met for coffee one afternoon.  She mentioned her Toastmaster group.  I thought, Oh, Toastmasters!  That’s the group Mike, the Wonderful One, went to about 6 years ago and it helped him. But he’s verbally gifted and I’d rather be quiet and go unnoticed.

Muscling up my courage, I started attending.  The night before the meetings and even driving over here I’d ask myself, “Oh my gosh, Why am I doing this?” But I’d come.  You see, the last time I “spoke in public” was 2 years ago at my brother’s funeral.  But that day, I had no fear at all.  It was such a privilege to share stories about his amazing life and we laughed a lot.  What an honor. And I had everything written down and there was no light blinking at me and there was no word of the day that I had to use. 

Up here, right now, there’s this feeling right here (chest), and it’s not pleasant . You’ve all felt it. But it’s vulnerability and growth and those are good. 

Two more things make me grateful:  Toastmasters is full of real nice people and this icebreaker speech is finished!  

Children often outgrow JRA.  In the photo above, I was five and had been recently diagnosed with JRA. It was concentrated in my left knee which was very stiff. I was about to dance in my kindergarten Christmas pageant and I was practicing sitting on my sweet little pillow but couldn’t do it the way all the other girls would.  My left knee hurt too much to tuck my leg underneath and my knee refused to do anything other than poke my leg out to the side.  To this day I still can’t sit with my legs underneath me.  But I don’t mind. I’m just glad my name’s not Astrid.